#♕░��� a living fire to lighten the darkness ( HEADCANONS )

[kaerinio]

dany likes to ride, and this isn't just in a penetrative sense. she likes to ride thighs. she likes to grind. she likes to scissor.

more below the cut:

being ridden by dany includes her gazing down at her partner, eyes alight with hunger, with desire, with wanting, with care ; she starts off very slowly with a sensual, rhythmic grind and sway of her hips. no matter what, dany always has a rhythm to her ride because she just cannot stand lack of rhythm in the bedroom. and being able to keep that rhythm or to position oneself to move to the rhythm of another just creates this sense of symmetry that makes her feel she’s one with her partner, and that turns her on even more. her speed and gentleness/roughness, of course, depend on the vibe and also the communication of her partner because dany is always focused on them, always wanting to ensure that they are having their needs met, and she wants to create an atmosphere where they literally forget about everything else and only exist with her in that moment. 

gentle, slow riding dany is just touching ; she is leaning forward, caressing their face, stroking their hair, pressing long, slow kisses wherever her lips can reach, placing her hand over their heart, so she can feel it, clasping their fingers with hers. her moans are soft, almost a whisper, woven with the highest of praise, and, of course, she is touching herself, as well, arching her back to stretch her torso for her partner to see ; she allows her neck to arch as well, head falling back as she rises and falls. 

rough, fast riding Daenerys is wild. fierce. she once rode daario so wildly that his wound opened and began to bleed again ( and she couldn't tell if he was inside of her or if she was inside of him ). she is riding with vigor, and she is all-consuming, all-devouring ; her touches can vary from being so soft, so gentle, it’s like she is cradling the most precious thing in the entire world to tugging on hair, gripping their jaw, lightly choking them, holding their wrists above their head, pressing slow, long kisses with bites where she can reach, and scratching. what’s coming from her mouth during is praise mixed with absolute filth. also, there’s no soft moaning here ; daenerys is loud in bed, and she’s been known to scream in pleasure.

[kaerinio]

when daenerys was a child, she would often hold her own hand as a self-comfort mechanism because there was no one there to comfort her, and for her whole life, leading up to her marriage to drogo (and for some time afterward), she was afraid. even prior to the eviction from ser willem darry's estate, she was frightened by viserys' paranoid whispers about ruthless assassins and the usurper's dogs coming after them. so, daenerys developed the coping mechanism of holding her own hand, whether she was standing or sitting or curled up, awaiting sleep. often, it manifested as her clasping her fingers together before her, locking them on her lap, or weaving them together beneath a cheek/against her lips/atop her tummy (to release tension before falling asleep). this coping mechanism persisted for most of her life . . . up until she began feeling more established in her sense of comfort/sense of self among the dothraki. she still does it occasionally before sleeping, clasping her hands together and resting her cheek on top of them, but that isn’t necessarily from fear. instead, it arises from the need for comfort . . . for salvation from the immense loneliness.

[kaerinio]

on daenerys' fertility - pt. two of three tw: child loss, fertility, pregnancy

pt. one ; pt. three.

𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃

it's interesting that blood magic sits at the center of daenerys' perception of her own fertility. and how this perception arises without any true knowledge of the fact that blood magic, particularly valyrian sorcery, seems to go hand-in-hand with fertility and reproductive health outcomes in house targaryen. as the targaryens lean more into assimilating to andal values, the magic, which is deeply tied to the women of the house, dwindles. as the house begins to favor sons over daughters, it dwindles. as the men of the house begin to stake claim/ownership over the women and begin robbing them of all autonomy, it dwindles. when the kings begin locking targaryen women in towers, it dwindles. when the house passes over the first princess daenerys, then rhaenys, then rhaenyra as heirs to the throne, it dwindles. the targaryens are the only tie the world has to valyria, specifically its magic and the dragonlords. and very specifically, targaryen women are the ties to valyrian sorcery, as we see in rumors of targaryen women, like visenya and shiera seastar, practicing "dark arts".

honing in on the targaryen family and their loss of power, we see that, as time goes on, they, as a family, begin to diminish with massive blows arising from the family cannibalizing itself for the sake of andal values ( as opposed to valyrian values, which place strength of various forms at the forefront, no matter one's gender identity; after all, sexual and gender identity are both fluid in terms of dragons ). and, as the targaryens stray further from valyria, we see that their dragons perish, as well: literally and figuratively. in a figurative sense, the dragons are further and further separated from valyrian norms once the targaryens begin giving them non-valyrian names. the dragons of old are named for valyrian gods. names like silverwing, dreamfyre, sunfyre, etc. break away from this tradition, and because names are so important in magic, we can think of this as a severing of power. we also have a full-on civil war, which once again, is brought on by a deep subscription to andal values, break out that kills just about all of the targaryen dragons. additionally, as time goes on and traditions are lost and dragonkeepers are introduced ( during the rule of jaehaerys ), eggs are kept out of the cribs. and the house suffers; the targaryens need that tie to the dragons and to valyrian sorcery to survive because there are remnants of valyria within them.

loss of power ties directly to targaryen women and their historic struggles with conceiving children who live and survive. as the targaryen women are punished and oppressed by the men of the house,d as the house becomes further and further assimilated into andal values, so are they punished by the power they once wielded. if we think of valyrian power/magic as a personified form, think of it as a greedy thing that wants to survive; it devours worship in the form of its desires, values, memory being expressed, for its physical body is no more. valyrian power/magic favored the targaryens when it gave daenys the dream. it favored the targaryens when it enabled their survival, when it gave aegon and his line the prophecy and duty to save the world, and yet, the favored ones have not only forgotten this entity, but they have essentially ruined its memory. if it cannot survive, why should they? and if the house has forgotten itself . . . and the women have released their autonomy, why should the house continue? valyrian sorcery/magic punishes the targaryens through the women.

but, daenerys — — — who is the prince that was promised, who is destined to save the world, who was born unknowingly through valyrian sorcery ( the storm she was born during is the marker of this; rhaella's death pays for her life ), who is, in a way, favored by this magic, who listened to the traces of sorcery in her blood, who cuddled the dragon eggs close and felt her son reach for the eggs child-to-child, who saw the auras emanating off of them, who felt that they were more than stone, who cherished them, who sought to restore her house in the only way she knew how, who, during a march west to reclaim the family's home, unwittingly sacrificed her baby to restore her husband, who was supposed to aid in this reclamation, and upon understanding prices and the balance of magic, brought dragons back into the world ——— enters the scene. she, heir to her house, changes everything.

[kaerinio]

something to note about daenerys is her posture. she stands at 5′0, but the grandeur with which she stands makes it seem like she is taller than she truly is. she has superb posture, always ensuring that she has a straight back, raised head, and a very open, front-facing way of presenting herself. this openness is deliberate ; she wants to be known as an open, accepting, accessible figure who listens to the concerns of her people. she does not want anyone to fear approaching her, nor does she wish to present a form so intimidating that people are afraid of coming to her with honesty. even during moments where dany is tired of appearing regal, she holds this form, tucking a foot beneath her body and swinging the other, or tucking both feet beneath her with her hands folded lightly in her lap.

she knows there is power in taking up space, and she is certainly not afraid to take up and own space, especially considering how, for most of her life, she was forced to feel like a crumpled, small, wilted thing through terror and fright.

[kaerinio]

MUSE DEMEANOR & MANNERISMS GUIDE. bold for always, italic for sometimes, strike for never.

𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒. avoids eye contact when nervous. maintains eye contact when nervous. avoids eye contact due to being neurodivergent. enjoys eye contact as a means to read & convey emotion. looks down when emotional (in private). looks up when emotional (in private). cries openly (unless her limit has been reached, but even then, only in front of people she trusts). wipes tears quickly. suppresses tears. wandering gaze when lost in thought. holds gaze while thinking. seeks out eye contact for reassurance (typically for information). seeks out eye contact to gauge enthusiasm during conversations. eyes move constantly during conversation. expressive eyes. emotions only evident through eyes. uses eye contact to intimidate (when the moment calls for it). looks up while thinking. looks down while thinking.

𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒. clasp behind back. rests in lap. fidgets with clothes. twiddles thumbs. chews at nails (but did as a child). pushes back cuticles. draws patterns on table / counter surfaces. animated gestures while speaking. only gestures to emphasize. utilizes sign language. speaks only through sign. callouses. scars. smooth. wrinkled. worn. soft. delicate. boney. slender. thick. veiny. touches others while speaking. reaches out while laughing. reaches out to comfort others. reaches out to seek comfort. places face in hands when exasperated. places palms over eyes to hide when overwhelmed. rests chin in hands. taps fingers when impatient. taps fingers when nervous. taps fingers when thinking. scratches scalp. strokes chin. rubs back of head (when bald). toys with objects around them. runs fingers over surfaces when walking by.

𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇. chews lip. chews at inside of cheek. licks lips. bites tongue. chews on straws. resting frown. resting smile. neutral resting expression. resting pout. grinds teeth. flexes jaw. covers mouth when laughing. covers mouth when shocked. covers mouth when concerned. hands to lips while thinking. covers mouth when chewing. chews with mouth closed. chews with mouth open. smirks. grins. subtle smiles. wide smiles. sad smiles. intimidating smiles. menacing grins. openly smiles. tries to suppress smiles. bares teeth when angry. lips quiver when emotional. stutters. speaks quickly. speaks slowly. good pronunciation. poor pronunciation. moderate pronunciation. purses lips. sucks in lips. holds mouth open when shocked or confused.

𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐒. bounces legs when nervous. draws knees to chest when sitting. draws knees to chest as a means of comfort. sits on knees. sits with legs criss-crossed. sits with legs spread open in chairs. crosses legs when sitting in chairs. sits with one leg folded under the other. places feet on furniture. never places feet on furniture. sits on counters. sits on desks. sits on tables. sits on edge of seat. sits hunched over with forearms on knees. arches one knee up. sits on the arm of chairs / couches. feet on dashboard. swings legs back & forth when sitting somewhere elevated. wiggles toes when nervous. wiggles toes as a general tic. shuffles feet. kicks foot into ground. stomps feet. loud footsteps. quiet footsteps. silent footsteps.

𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑. runs fingers through hair. tugs at hair. picks at scalp. chews on hair. twirls locks of hair while thinking or nervous. smooths out locks of hair while thinking or nervous (in private). prefers hair out of face. prefers long hair. prefers short hair. wears hair back. keeps hair down. smooths back hair. plays with other's hair while talking. plays with own hair while talking. strokes hair to comfort others. likes having hair stroked for their own comfort. braids other's hair while talking. braids own hair while talking. flips hair out of face. pushes hair out of face. leaves hair alone when falling into face.

tagged by: @maidmyth (💖) tagging: @homebehind / @kins0ul ; @messanique ; @nightstriumph /@riorsworn ; @ircnwrought / @starseternelle ; @khrused / @mysfated ; @wornkindness ; @aegisregalis ; @vishapsking ; @highevar ; and you!

[kaerinio]

daenerys' first language is high valyrian. when she was a baby, viserys would coo at her exclusively in valyrian, and ser willem darry ensured that her nurses and early tutors also interacted with her in both valyrian and the common tongue. her first words were valyrian, and as a girl, she would often converse with the servants at darry's estate and viserys in valyrian, including the various dialects of the free cities! typically, the only common tongue she would really use was with ser darry. and, following his death, valyrian remained her main form of communication; however, this changes, when viserys transforms into the beggar king. shortly after selling rhaella's crown, the final physical attachment to their targaryen identity, he begins to speak to dany only in the common tongue. you see, to him, he is a westerosi king, and in order to be westerosi, he decides that he (and dany) must speak the language of westeros: the common tongue, which is, as he would claim, "the language of civilized man." when dany attempts to speak valyrian with him in those initial days, she is met with hostility and harm, including viserys admonishing her valyrian, claiming that it is diminished, berating her accent, and telling her to speak in a way befitting of a targaryen princess (interesting). so, dany stops speaking valyrian with viserys altogether, and instead, she whispers this language, tasting of the house with the red door and what feels like home to her, with other children in bazaars and vendors and servants in the homes of could-be allies.

i should write a separate thing for this because i am incredibly fascinated by language and connection, and dany is certainly very attune with language, connection, and intimacy through communication !!! and i will but! as queen of meereen, dany speaks high valyrian, particularly a ghiscari dialect constructed of old ghiscari and valyrian, while conducting court and communicating with her subjects. during council meetings, she primarily communicates in high valyrian, as it is spoken and understood by all her councillors. with barristan, belwas, her bloodriders, and handmaids, she typically speaks the common tongue. among the dothraki (and when it is just her, her bloodriders, and handmaids), she speaks dothraki. when it comes to her dragons, she croons at them in high valyrian.

[kaerinio]

@messianique approached her grace: I feel like you've went into this before BUT: would Dany get tattoos? And if so, what of? (Modern au specifically but also tattoos exist in canon universe too, sjskaksk)

dany would totally get tattoos!

in modern, she has quite a few! the first, most noticeable one is a tattoo of a three-headed dragon wrapping around the middle of her forearm and wrist, with the three heads at the top of her right hand. in verses/aus where rhaenys and aegon survive, she got this as a matching tattoo with them! there's a little tattoo of a comet on her right side/ribs in red ink. on her right thigh, she has a tattoo of hands holding a fire. below it, above her right knee, she has the words "catch the fire" as a reference to a sonia sanchez poem in this font (but a bit more bolded). there's a little horseshoe tattoo, which she shares with jhogo, aggo, rakharo, irri, jhiqui, and doreah; it's on her right ankle, and they all got it late one rowdy night. above her right elbow, she has a little book tattoo that matches one missandei has! wrapping around her upper left arm, she has a tattoo of a lemon tree branch. on her right shoulder blade, she has a small harp as an homage to rhaegar. she also has a second homage to rhaegar, which is a little cd behind her left ear (it's a cd she found with his belongings🥺). on her left shoulder blade, she has a small crown with flowers as an homage to rhaella. there's a roman numeral for three on her right bikini line in this style. she's always contemplating more, for she loves the artistry that goes into tattooing. these are also very physical reminders of ownership over herself.

in canon, i'm very much inclined toward dany getting tattoos! whenever we see tattoos being mentioned in asoi.af, there's direct ties to slavery. the ruling classes and oppressors of those in bondage find tattoos to be markers of inferiority, as chains printed upon the skin, as marks of filth. for daenerys to have tattoos, it's revolutionary. it shows that she rejects such notions and that she finds beauty in the nature of tattoos. additionally, as the mother, tattoos create kinship ties to some of her children who received tattoos while in bondage and as consequences of their bondage.

her first tattoo is delivered upon her ascension of the mother of mountains as the stallion who mounts the world. at its peak, the crones of vaes dothrak instruct her to lie upon her back, and as many as can fit around her from her united khalasar stand, watching as they tattoo an ornamental design over her heart. it's representative of the stallion's heart within! the tattoo is delivered with a bone needle, and the ink is made from charred horse bone and water from the womb of the world.

i like to imagine the second tattoo being a bond tattoo of types between herself, jhogo, aggo, and rakharo, binding them to her as blood of her blood. this tattoo matches the style of the one over her heart, but it is a tattoo flowing along her back from shoulder-to-shoulder, symbolizing the trust she has for them, for they are her watchers, warriors, shadows, and so much more. this tattoo's ink is made in a similar way as the first, but the ink does hold blood from the four of them, linking them all together and making them truly blood of her blood.

i like to imagine the third tattoo being inked into her skin in asshai, following the revelation of her identity as azor ahai reborn/the prince that was promised! the ink is developed by crushing up materials burned by her three dragons, a bit of their blood, a bit of her own blood mixed into it, crushed bloodstone, along with clean water (because fire and blood). the needle is actually forged of dragon bone, and the process is very much associated with ritual: prayers are said, spells are murmured, incense are burned while fired burn high and wild. these tattoos begin at the junction of her neck and shoulders, marking the tops of her shoulders and her shoulders themselves before connecting and extending down the backs of her arms; they stop at where her wrists join to her hands. there's also text on her back beneath the binding tattoo, going all the way to her lower back. the tattoo itself is a series of valyrian glyphs (here's a reference), marking her as the dawn in the darkness, as the salvation of the world, as the flame which cuts against the cold and smothers it. these words are interwoven with key narrative references to the original azor ahai, as well as symbols of protection and valor and wisdom, and spells themselves. i imagine they're intricate (and dense, like this and this). the entirety of this tattoo is a deep red, symbolizing blood (which, the sorcerers who give her these tattoos believe will imbue the protection and strength symbols, as well as the spells, with power).

there will certainly be more (somehow, somewhere . . . smth smth about the salvation of the world coming from her womb . . . thinking about more valyrian script in the shape of dragon horns on her sides leading to her womb perhaps 👀), which i will add later on, but as of right now, this is what's buzzing around in my brain!!

[kaerinio]

viserys was sheltered away from just about everyone, save rhaella and aerys. this means that he didn't really spend any time with rhaenys, and he almost certainly never laid eyes upon baby aegon (due to that sheltering, as well as the rising rebellion). as a girl, dany would often ask viserys to tell her stories about the little princess rhaenys, and typically, the tales he would tell were simply that: tales. he'd relay what he had heard of her, including the horrid things aerys muttered about the girl (though, in an effort to seem like his father, he claimed the sayings as his own; daenerys always winced when he spoke that way). i say girl because rhaenys is always just that in dany's mind: a princess, yes, but a girl whose life had been stolen. when dany would play alone in the bazaars, she oft envisioned the princess who would have been her friend, grasping one hand, and the young prince, who would have clutched the other. she frequently dreamed about the princess and prince, longing for their company and kinship and friendship. now, as a young woman, there are days when she finds herself staring at the blue of the sky, envisioning two other heads by hers . . . when she looks to the dragons and wishes that she had the two people who would have, no doubt, been her dearest friends.

[kaerinio]

inspired by this: in modern verses and aus, dany's laundry setup is really nice. in most modern realms, she has a little laundry room with cabinets for all her detergents and extra storage. there is a table where she may fold her laundry (but honestly, she's not sure what she was thinking when she determined that she needed an entire room with a table; more often than not, she folds her laundry on the couch, so she can multi-task more effectively). she has a modern setup with a front-loading washer and dryer. her dryer has little wool balls to aid in more efficient drying and wrinkle-management. however, something that has followed her from her childhood is the habit of hanging her clothing outside to dry. i've delved into it in the past, but, as a child, dany's clothing often consisted of viserys' hand-me-downs, donations, and thrifted clothing. a lot of the time, these pieces were ill-fitting, and she could only keep as much as she could efficiently carry. in order to preserve these pieces, she would wash them, wherever she could (whether it be at a family friend's home, a laundromat when they could, or various bathrooms), and hang them outside. now, dany doesn't always hang all her clothing up on her terrace/balcony after it's been washed; she is really good at hanging the clothing that requires being hung to dry. but, there are times when she worries about the integrity of her clothing and feels that, perhaps, they deserve a break from being jostled around in the dryer. then, she will grab her little basket of colorful clothespins and hangers and laundry racks and get to work.

[kaerinio]

dany has wings that appear and disappear in a swirl of flames. she was not born with them, but rather, when she experienced her rebirth in the fire, they appeared at her back, twitching as the hatchling dragons crawled toward her, seeking the embrace of their mother. in truth, the revelation of the wings was a bit surprising; she knew that earlier targaryens had wings (one of the last whispers of their otherworldly identity), but for the wings to be awakened within her was not something she expected at all.

the wings themselves mirror drogon's: black scales with some blood red iridescence, small, dark talons at the tops, and delicate vermillion membranes. dany learns how to fly from her dragons once they begin tasting the skies, and it takes quite a bit of trial and error. however, she becomes skilled at flying on her own. additionally, as a result of learning how to fly from her dragons, her flying style matches more closely to a dragon's, incorporating more of a horizontal positioning. all that being said, while she does love flying/loves having the ability and freedom to fly on her own, she actually prefers being on dragonback! she loves the presence of her dragons, loves bonding with them in that way, rather than flying at their sides. it's just different! she will take to the skies on her own, like if she wishes to truly be alone, wishes to take a quick look at a landscape, or just . . . has the urge!

among trusted individuals or within her own havens, she will allow the wings to be free! she likes the feel of them, likes their balancing weight, likes that ancestral connection! and when it comes to enemies, she'll sometimes whip 'em out, just for the sake of intimidation.

[kaerinio]

takes a deep, shaky breath: i've mentioned dany's tendency to borrow the clothing of her loved ones in modern verses/aus. at this point, it's almost a love language, as she'll typically have up to three pieces of clothing from each of her loved ones; it's the maximum, but it's also very much a representation of how much she wants to be near someone. this is something that actually developed out of dany's childhood.

when she was a girl, viserys' clothing were the closest thing she had to a security blanket. he was her protective older brother, who held her when she was scared and told her stories of his faraway childhood and their distant lives, and she, clutching his sleeves and counting the fraying threads, always burrowed closer into that feeling of safety. so, at any points when she was afraid or lonely, she would affectionately rummage through his clothing and settle upon a shirt or sweater or jacket to curl up in or just hold close to her chest or inhale. as resources became scarcer and viserys' clothing (oftentimes) became her own and viserys himself became frayed, undone by rage, she longed for the older brother he once was. she longed for something to hold close that was his (and longed for the brother who had once been hers): he . . . the only person in the world who had ever cared for her and lived. as one might imagine, dany's tendency to seek comfort through his shirts and sweaters and jackets came to an end very shortly after they sold the last of their mother's glittering jewelry.

but, she remembered this long-gone expression of adoration when drogo wrapped her up in his coat. she still has that coat. she remembered it when she began wearing his shirts. she remembered it when she curled up next to doreah in one of her sweaters and when she danced around in jhogo's shorts and when she twirled around in irri's scarf . . . and when she stuffed jorah's jacket into a donation bin in a parking lot.

[kaerinio]

no matter the verse/au, dany will always prefer dragonstone to king's landing. wherever dragonstone exsits, she'll always have this longing for it when she's away. they say that dragons thrive on dragonstone, and from the moment of arrival, when dany sees her dragons dancing in the skies above the fortress, she understands. but also, in her own feelings and sense of strength, it truly clicks. she sleeps better on dragonstone, even with the more vivid dreams, feels more energized, feels more free. whether she's making plans for battle or searching for tomes of knowledge, she can go for a bit longer without sleep, as though that ever-present hum of power, which preens in her presence, is fueling her. she's also generally just happier on dragonstone.

[kaerinio]

i was completely inspired by emily's post . . . dany doesn't think she can get sick. even in her childhood, she can remember being scared, hungry, and cold, but never sick. this is one of the reasons why she isn't afraid of directly touching and aiding those with the bloody flux ( much to her guards' chagrin and fear ) and it later becomes a point of major panic on the dothraki sea when she's experiencing the impact of illness due to poison berries and tainted water ( and a potential miscarriage ). she's so afraid of this unusual feeling of weakness that it brings her to tears ; however even then, she wouldn't identify this experience as illness, but rather the hardships of survival.

[kaerinio]

on daenerys' fertility - pt. three of three tw: child loss, fertility, pregnancy, miscarriage, blood

pt. one ; pt. two

𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐒

so, can daenerys conceive? my answer is yes. however, conception may come with some difficulties/complications because . . . who knows what effectS the blood magic mirri performed has on dany's reproductive system, especially since it's not valyrian sorcery? but, daenerys does not believe that she can conceive due to her own feelings surrounding herself regarding rhaego, and her willingness to believe mirri as a form of coping. should she become pregnant, she will have a difficult time fully believing it at first, even if the signs are all there, because she remembers how it rended her very soul to lose rhaego after loving him so deeply; she simply can't allow herself to have that hope, even though she longs to be a mother.

depending on how one interprets it, she conceives a child with daario ( i prefer to think of the baby being daario's and not hizdahr's, particularly because daario is the man dany chooses for herself, for her heart. ) in adwd and suffers a miscarriage out on the dothraki sea:

By midday the water would be tepid, but in the chill of dawn it was almost cool and helped her keep her eyes open. As she splashed her face, she saw fresh blood on her thighs. The ragged hem of her undertunic was stained with it. The sight of so much red frightened her. Moon blood, it’s only my moon blood, but she did not remember ever having such a heavy flow. Could it be the water? If it was the water, she was doomed. She had to drink or die of thirst. - daenerys 10, adwd.

seeing so much blood frightens her because it is completely abnormal for her usual menstrual cycle. she's never experienced something so heavy. the thought of a miscarriage doesn't even cross her mind. she's thoroughly convinced by both herself and mirri that she cannot have children.

this aside, if we are to believe mirri's omen, i believe that, in a metaphorical sense, it is complete. it is through:

in adwd alone, we watch as the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, represented by quentyn martell, a young lord whose sigil is the sun, who is born/rises/comes from the west to die/fall/set in the east. we see the dothraki sea, a literal sea of grass, which was a beautiful green when daenerys first explored it in agot, go dry. what the mountains blowing in the wind like leaves means? now, this is something that i don't believe we have insight into yet. the more i think about this prophecy/omen, the more it seems to have to do with things dany has encountered, so i am going to chalk this up to something happening to the mother of mountains . . . something that sets up why every single khalasar is on its way to/is in vaes dothrak prior to the unification ( still working on this ). and, her womb does quicken again, at least, in my interpretation.

it is right after we learn of this miscarriage that in just a few pages, we see that khal jhaqo, a former member of drogo's ko, discover her standing beside drogon, who returned to her in meereen. i believe that we have a couple of things working together here. first, we have khal jhaqo, who had been one of khal drogo’s most trusted friends, who also took a large portion of drogo’s khalasar, discovering dany as she stands beside the dragon she named for her late husband, who most certainly has drogo's spirit ( represented in the fact that drogon's egg is place by drogo's heart during the pyre burning ). it's interesting that drogon waits with daenerys, especially since he's been quite unruly, refusing to listen to her ( for reasons of forcing her personal development and recognition of herself to drive forth prophecy ).

this prophecy is being undone, and her rebirth and rise after the birth of her dragons contributes to it because it is through the birth of her dragons and the strength/direction she gains through them, that she has been led to all of the moments described in mirri maz duur’s prophecy as being impossible.

this is so long, but ultimately, yes, i believe daenerys can conceive, but it is an incredibly delicate matter, as, even though she is favored by valyrian sorcery ( at her birth as tptwp and in her continued honoring of it and her dragons ), her reproductive system has been affected, in some way, by mirri's magic ( magic that had the intent to stifle prophecy ). and, if she wants to build her house, as she is destined to, she must always remember who she is ( by continuing to honor valyrian magic/sorcery and her dragons ), which, the whole stranded on the dothraki sea moment cements inside of her. she must do what her ancestors failed to do. additionally, i feel like there will have to be some magical aspect that accompanies any future pregnancies, even if it's just having someone with magical abilities/knowledge to care for her, or if it's just as simple as engaging in magical thought/intent/or will during conception, being near the dragons, or spending most of her time on dragonstone during her pregnancy. rhaego's conception was guided by magical instinct; the birthing of the dragons followed magical instinct; her future pregnancies must follow a similar pattern.

[kaerinio]

on daenerys' fertility - pt. one of three tw: child loss, fertility, pregnancy

pt. two ; pt. three

it's been . . . four years since i've discussed daenerys' fertility, and i think it's time for a refresh based on how my own thoughts have changed regarding the subject. please note that this meta/headcanon is purely associated with the way that i portray/think about daenerys.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐎

to begin, i would like to clear the air in terms of what information daenerys had when given the option of saving khal drogo from death. when mirri maz duur told her that only death could pay for life, daenerys had drogo's beloved stallion brought in and given as a sacrifice; she knew that the life had to be, in some way, tied to his, or, at least, precious to him:

Jhogo looked terrified as he struggled with the stallion's weight, afraid to touch the dead flesh, yet afraid to let go as well. Only a horse, Dany thought. If she could buy Drogo's life with the death of a horse, she would pay a thousand times over. - daenerys 8, agot.

dany's realization that it's rhaego's life that must be given only occurs after the dothraki begin to stone her and after she goes into active labor ( as the ritual's intensity begins to increase ):

Someone threw a stone, and when Dany looked, her shoulder was torn and bloody. “No,” she wept, “no, please, stop it, it’s too high, the price is too high.” More stones came flying. She tried to crawl toward the tent, but Cohollo caught her. - daenerys 8, agot.

the height of the price is two-fold: the opinion/hearts of her people and the literal siphoning of rhaego's life. she is not blind to the fact that her people view this supposed solution as abominable, that there's no relief/ease brought to them, that the khalasar is breaking apart, and should drogo survive, he will be met with dissent; she understands that the decision is one made of her own fear of losing drogo and the safety he's provided her in the khalasar, but with no khalasar, drogo would cease to be who he is. she crawls toward the tent with the intent of telling mirri to stop, but cohollo stops her, with a knife to her throat. in terms of actively going into labor during the ritual/the siphoning of rhaego's life, dany realizes that her womb is the ritual. there's no coincidence here that as mirri's shadow sways against the fabric of the tent, dany falls further and further into labor. pointedly, she doesn't note that the labor pains are what she'd been expecting. no, the imagery is associated with violence and horror. it's reflective of what has just occurred all around her with drogo's bloodriders attempting to take vengeance on dany and her circle, the people of the khalasar literally attempting to stone and kill dany, and the contents of the ritual being performed:

She tried to rise, and agony seized her and squeezed her like a giant’s fist. The breath went out of her; it was all she could do to gasp. The sound of Mirri Maz Duur’s voice was like a funeral dirge. Inside the tent, the shadows whirled [ . . . ] She convulsed in his arms as the pain took her again, and heard the knight shouting for her handmaids to help him. Are they all so afraid? She knew the answer. Another pain grasped her, and Dany bit back a scream. It felt as if her son had a knife in each hand, as if he were hacking at her to cut his way out. - daenerys 8, agot.

the note that mirri's voice mirrors a funeral dirge is the beginning of dany truly realizing what mirri meant when she said she was going to dance with death; a dance is, in a way, an exchange. a foot forth whilst one moves back, an advance and a retreat, and the exchange is happening right as her son barrels toward life. it's here that she becomes a part of this dance, that her son becomes the center of it. while others are able to see that mirri isn't dancing and swaying and singing alone in the tent, they cannot see exactly what mirri is dancing with, but as dany falls further and further into the ritual, she can see:

What was wrong with them, couldn’t they see? Inside the tent the shapes were dancing, circling the brazier and the bloody bath, dark against the sandsilk, and some did not look human. She glimpsed the shadow of a great wolf, and another like a man wreathed in flames. - daenerys 8, agot.

( at some point, i'll write a thing about the prevalence of these particular shadows, but the interesting piece here is that dany can see them clearly, which tracks because she is literally imbued with magic from the time she comes wailing into the world, and she both reclaims magic and boosts the very power of magic upon birthing the dragons. )

back to the topic! because the healers now believe dany to be accursed, jorah insists that they must take her to mirri. dany begs jorah not to take her into the tent while she's in labor because she knows that her son will surely perish, if he isn't already actively dying. there is some instinctual part of her that knows he will not survive whether she enters the tent or not, but with certainty, she understands that he will supersede the sacrifice of the stallion, should she go into that tent. the fever dreams she has for days after the labor confirm that her unborn son was, in fact, the price (all along).

in these dreams, she sees her son as he was supposedly meant to be: the stallion who mounts the world. but, he catches fire and turns to ash ( which could be interpreted in parallel with a point i'll make below about how he was never meant to live . . . because if he was meant to be the dragon, as dany intended, fire would not have consumed him/killed him in her vision ). before she is even conscious, before she hears what has become of him, she knows. when she awakens and asks for him, she does so with the hope that she's wrong.

( her rebirth begins with these fever dreams, for in them, she is crowned truly as the last, even by her ancestors. )

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍: 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓

when dany confronts mirri maz duur about how her son's life is used as currency to pay for a lifeless drogo, she reveals that the maegi knew. that the maegi knew but did not inform her. what truly pains her is that she allowed herself to trust in the maegi enough to not question her further when she said she could save drogo. but also, it is at this moment that she is given the famous omen:

"When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east," said Mirri Maz Duur. "When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When your womb quickens again, and you bear a living child. Then he will return, and not before." Dany gestured at Ser Jorah and the others. "Leave us. I would speak with this maegi alone." Mormont and the Dothraki withdrew. "You knew," Dany said when they were gone. She ached, inside and out, but her fury gave her strength. "You knew what I was buying, and you knew the price, and yet you let me pay it." "It was wrong of them to burn my temple," the heavy, flat-nosed woman said placidly. "That angered the Great Shepherd." "This was no god’s work," Dany said coldly. If I look back I am lost. "You cheated me. You murdered my child within me." - daenerys 9 , agot.

while daenerys is extremely pained at the loss of her son, she uses her wrath to confront mirri, feasts upon it to push herself forward. and, with the loss of both her husband and son, she adopts her mantra: if i look back, i am lost. it is the decisions that she made, decisions made through youth and trust and desperation, which led her to this. of course, she has regrets; however, she feels that if she allows herself to dwell upon any of this, she will truly be broken to the point of being unable to go forward ( and now, since her son, the one she thought would take the throne after viserys, smth smth andal values, has perished, everything is truly left to her ). she cannot allow their sacrifice to be for naught. she cannot allow herself to wither: 

Darkness, Dany thought. The terrible darkness sweeping up behind to devour her. If she looked back she was lost. - daenerys 9, agot.

anyway, after daenerys hears mirri maz duur’s words about her inability to have children, paired with the state that her son was born in/his fate following his birth ( i will not paste this quote here, as it is incredibly graphic ), she accepts the fact that she cannot have children. further, mirri informs dany that rhaego had been dead for years, but this is not literal. it's figurative, meaning that he was fated to never live. it's all interesting because . . . this individual lied to her before/withheld truths for her own sense of vengeance, and yet, dany just accepts what mirri says as truth?

there are multiple reasons for this: one being that she understands that mirri has mastery over magic, which means she must know things that dany doesn't. if she has dominion over life and death, and dany's womb is a realm of life and death, as she comes to view it, then why wouldn't she know? but also, mirri tells dany this during a time of extreme grief, mourning, pain, and self-anger; everything that happened occurred because dany didn't question the maegi's intent, didn't question the reality of the price, and, as far as dany is concerned, all of this is more her fault than the maegi's. why should she ever hope to have a child if she so willingly traded the life of her son's? why should she ever hope to have a child if her love for rhaego did not stop her from paying the price/did not guide her to ask for more clarity? in truth, she does not believe that she deserves to be a mother, and it is more of a mercy to believe that her womb is cursed, as she later views it, than to be faced with the manner of her choices, no matter how forgivable they may be; she cannot forgive herself, and that is a large part of why she believes she will be doomed, should she look to the past, and why she so willingly accepts what mirri foretells.

mirri's words constantly haunt dany:

He shall be the stallion that mounts the world. Dany knew how it went with prophecies. They were made of words, and words were wind. There would be no son for Loraq, no heir to unite dragon and harpy. When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, when the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. Only then would her womb quicken once again … - daenerys 4, adwd.

The words of Mirri Maz Duur rang in her head. When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves. When your womb quickens again, and you bear a living child. Then he will return, and not before. The meaning was plain enough; Khal Drogo was as like to return from the dead as she was to bear a living child. But there are some secrets she could not bring herself to share, even with a husband, so she let Hizdahr zo Loraq keep his hopes. - daenerys 8, adwd.

and does not allow herself, even, to hope.

parts 2 and 3 will be linked here when they're posted.

[kaerinio]

i need to edit and repost my meta on why i believe dany can have children, and i will at some point. but, that aside! pulling from black diasporic traditions ( where there are beliefs of the connections between touch and intentions ) . . . with the loss of rhaego in mind, in any verse where dany is with child, she is very much averse to others wishing to touch her belly, unless that person is someone she trusts, someone she knows has good intentions. this aversion attaches itself to her following everything that happened with mirri maz duur ( and all the versions of her that exist across dany's verses/aus ).